


In the low lamp light I was free

by weenies



Series: G******** Week [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Day 1, Gap Filler, M/M, Season 3, first sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 09:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4132752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weenies/pseuds/weenies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ian first arrived, it was awkward. Mickey wouldn’t look Ian in the eye and Ian worriedly thought Mickey had changed his mind and regretted his decision to have Ian over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the low lamp light I was free

When Ian first arrived, it was awkward. Mickey wouldn’t look Ian in the eye and Ian worriedly thought Mickey had changed his mind and regretted his decision to have Ian over.

Ian’s insecurities often reared their ugly heads when he was with Mickey. He knew Mickey cared about him to some degree, but the extent of such feelings still eluded him. He found himself second-guessing every interaction, hanging onto every word that slipped from Mickey’s lips. It was exhausting and Ian honestly thought he might be in love.

Though it pained him to even consider leaving so soon, Ian broke the silence. “I can leave if you—“

“I don’t” Mickey supplied a little too quickly to pass off as casual. “want you to leave”

“Ok”

They sat on the couch in silence until Ian launched into a story about how his grandmother set up and eventually blew up a meth lab. Both boys loosened up soon after the story began, finally enjoying the freedom they seldom were allowed. They laughed louder and smiled often, too enthralled with one another to realize that had shifted increasingly closer together on the couch.

*

“You didn’t have to invite me over” Ian said, not able to stop himself. He walked into the kitchen to get some beers for the two of them.

It was a shock to Ian that Mickey had offered up his home, his night free from terry, to share with him. Even though Mickey assured Ian that he wanted him to stay, Ian couldn’t help but press for more information.

The truth was that Mickey had been working up the courage to ask for days. He’d found it increasingly difficult to stay away from Ian and inviting him over when he finally had the house to himself made perfect sense to him.

It had only ever crossed his mind that he could spend the time by himself when he realized they would be crossing a boundary they had never crossed before. It was a boundary that Mickey couldn’t deny was dangerous. But Mickey wanted—wanted Ian, wanted more—so he invited him anyway.

“You sounded like you wouldn’t last another day in that shithole. I was doing you a favor, man.”

“Yeah, sure” Ian laughed as he rounded the arm of the couch and plopped down next to Mickey.

Mickey grabbed his beer and hit it against the edge of the coffee table, dislodging the cap and bringing it up to his lips. Ian did the same and they sat in comfortable silence with their movie starting in front of them.

*

They were halfway through their tray of pizza rolls when Mickey suggested they smoke some weed. He promised to bring out his good stuff if Ian agreed to a blow job later on. Ian simply laughed and pushed Mickey toward his room.

Mickey could hardly contain the smile that crept onto his face every time their hands brushed while they passed the joint back and forth.

Soon, the weed was left forgotten on the coffee table and Ian’s legs sat on either side of Mickey’s hips as he pushed him into the back of the couch. Their lips opened up against each other, Ian’s hands planted firmly on either side of Mickey’s face, directly above the hands that rested on his hips.

They fumbled and maneuvered, trying to undress without separating from each other, until Mickey slammed his head against wooden backing that was left exposed from years of wear and tear.

“Ah, fuck”

Ian erupted into a laughter that would have pissed Mickey off if it wasn’t so beautiful.

“Fuck you”

“I’m sorry” Ian managed after he got some control over his laugher and breathing. “Are you ok?” he finished, more calmly.

“I’ve had worse” Mickey replied with the nonchalance of someone commenting on the weather.

Ian furrowed his brows and leaned over Mickey so that he could press his lips to the top of his head. He couldn’t quite reach the part that Mickey banged against the couch, but the message was clear.

Ian would always be concerned at the way Mickey mentioned being hurt. He would always worry when he would show up to work with a fresh set of bruises. It pained him that this was normal for Mickey.

Mickey looked away, uncomfortable with the intensity of the moment and Ian brought his lips further down Mickey’s forehead and face until he pecked the corner of Mickey’s lips.

“I want you to ride me” Ian said before he began to smile. “I wouldn’t want to risk you hitting your head again. I’m thinking you should probably be on top.”

Ian laughed as Mickey roughly pushed him off his lap and switched their position so he straddled Ian. He grazed his lips over Ian’s as he ground down into his lap, drawing a gasp from Ian’s now tingling lips. Ian pulled Mickey’s head down firmly so he could get press their lips together.

They continued to rut against each other until Mickey slipped his hands under Ian’s shirt and lifted it up off his head before doing the same with his own. Ian dropped his head so that he could place open mouthed kisses on Mickey’s collarbone.

It was becoming too much, both boy’s arousal becoming uncomfortable as they strained against the tightness of their jeans. Mickey tentatively removed himself from Ian’s lap so he could remove the remainder of his clothing. Ian did the same and pulled Mickey forward so he could once again settle on his lap.

Ian opened Mickey up and had him squirming before Mickey pushed his arms away and lined himself up. He eased himself slowly onto Ian and paused to allow the both of them to adjust. Soon he was moving, the sounds of their ragged breathe filling the otherwise silent house.

*

“So how is your quest to get shot oversees going?”

Ian turned to face Mickey and laughed somewhat dejectedly “I don’t think West Point is for me”

Mickey furrowed his eyes and took a swig of his beer. “Why the fuck not?”

“I don’t know” Ian sighed “I just don’t think I’m made out for all this school shit”

Ian shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Mickey continued to stare at him. He’d never been able to really talk about this with anyone other than the time he screamed at Lip as they took swings at each other under the L.

“That’s bullshit man. You’ve taken all kinds of hard classes. More than most of us deadbeats take”

“Yeah but I don’t do well enough in them”

“Well you’re still on track to graduate. And you can always enlist” Mickey supplied.

“Yeah, I guess.” Ian said as he started down at his lap. “I just wanted to be great at something. Important or some shit”

Mickey started to respond before Ian began talking again. “Lip’s been helping me with all of this. Tutoring me or whatever, but I can tell he doesn’t think I can do it.”

 “Fuck Lip”

“He’s right though.  And like Lip gets all this handed to him on a silver platter.  He got an application to West Point hand delivered to him. I can barely get a C in my trig class.”

“You could always go to college and become one of those frat douches. Then you’d be able to sneak me into all your rich friend’s parties” He said with a goofy smile, clearly trying to lighten the mood. Ian couldn’t help but smile back, even if it was a little sadly.

No matter what happened after high school, Mickey hoped Ian understood that he would still have a future. That even if there was no West Point, Ian would still be able to accomplish something most in this neighborhood never dreamed of. Most importantly, Mickey wanted Ian to know that he’d still be around through it all if Ian would have him. If he didn’t leave him behind first.

*

They sat next to each other on the couch, arms brushing against each other as they clicked furiously on the buttons of their controllers.

The flash of guns on the screen illuminated their faces as they grew increasingly louder.

“What the fuck are you doing, Gallagher?”

“I’m fucking shooting them”

“Not like that, you aren’t” Mickey continued to grumble until Ian finally got their players both killed and he let out an exasperated sigh.

“Sorry” Ian mumbled, an amused smile spreading across his face.

They both knew Ian didn’t play Xbox nearly as much as Mickey did, but Mickey still couldn’t help poking fun at the other boy. “You can’t even handle yourself in a group home, makes sense that you wouldn’t know how to steal from a corner mart. Even a fictional one.”

“Oh, fuck you. I can handle myself just fine. I grew up in the same neighborhood that you did”

Mickey chuckled to himself “You didn’t grow up the same way I did”

“You know my childhood wasn’t all roses and gumdrops”

“Didn’t say it was. It’s just—forget it”

Ian sighed, his defensiveness fading into concern. He brought his hand and rested it on the back of the couch. “Come on, tell me” he urged.

Mickey turned to meet the intensity of Ian’s stare. The look on Ian’s face fucking terrified him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. He knew he should before he did something stupid like tell Ian what it was like growing up knowing the only thing you’d ever be good at was stealing, dealing, and shooting a gun. Before he told him how he never thought he’d have anything good in his life until Ian came around. How no one else looked at him like Ian did. Like he wasn’t just dirt and grease and a bad attitude.

“It just fucking sucked man. Dad would beat the shit out of us until mom stepped in and tried to stop him. Then he’d just beat on her until he got tired of it I guess. You just—”

Ian turned to the side so that he could face Mickey completely. His elbow rested on the back of the couch as he played with a loose thread on Mickey’s shirt. He brought up his knee to lay against Mickey’s thigh, urging him to continue but not suffocating him by pressing too much.

Mickey nodded and looked down into his lap. “When mom died and dad got thrown in jail, none of us knew where the fuck our next meal would come from. It was steal or starve.”

“That why you used to steal from the Kash n Grab?”

“Yeah, I guess. Had to learn to fend for myself”

Ian placed his hand around the back of Mickey’s neck and rubbed idly while Mickey stared straight ahead, pointedly not looking at Ian.

Ian brought his hand farther up and ran his fingers through Mickey’s hair. “You can always come over for dinner if you need to”

Mickey scoffed at that “what, you want to play house or some shit?”

Ian rolled his eyes and removed his hand from the back of Mickey’s head. “Just saying you don’t have to go through this alone anymore”

Mickey didn’t know how to respond to that so he placed his hand on the knee that still rested on his leg, a silent _thank you_ manifesting itself in the small touch.

*

As Mickey continued playing Xbox, Ian slowly eased his legs across the couch so that they rested on top of Mickey’s legs. The only acknowledgement Mickey gave was the uncharacteristic misstep that almost ended Mickey’s game.

He had eventually gotten comfortable and Mickey continued playing with his hands rested against Ian’s shins. It wasn’t long until Ian broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” Mickey responded, eyes still trained on the TV screen.

“Don’t get mad at me”

“Ok”

“Promise”

Mickey huffed in annoyance before he responded. “I won’t get mad at you”

Ian hesitated for a second before he went for it. “How does the handle of that huge-ass brush in your room feel up your ass?”

Mickey sharply turned to look at Ian, the car he had been driving exploded on the screen in front of them.  Ian immediately started laughing when he saw the scandalized look on Mickey’s face. “How did you—?”

“You don’t brush your hair” Ian said through his laughter. Mickey picked up the nearest pillow and chucked it at Ian’s head.

“Fuck you, Gallagher”

“Oh come on, Mickey. You had it sitting in the drawer right next to your condoms and lube.” Mickey pushed a still laughing Ian off of his lap and onto the floor. Mickey briefly regretted inviting Ian over as the laughter below him only got louder. He didn’t have too much time to dwell on it before Ian was reaching up and dragging Mickey down on top of him.

*

The energy between them quickly turned from playful to something far less innocent. They had moved back onto the couch and Ian draped himself over Mickey’s smaller frame.

They’re lips moved against the each other languidly, relishing in not having to frantically get one another off.

Mickey smiled against Ian’s lips as he remembered the deal he proposed earlier when he brought out his weed. “So how about that blow job?”

Ian laughed before he latched onto Mickey’s neck, drawing out a shaky gasp as he began to suck.

He eased himself up and off of Mickey and placed his hand on Mickey’s hip. “Sit up”

Mickey pushed himself upward just as Ian was easing himself off the couch. The space between the couch and the coffee table wasn’t even close to being large enough to accommodate Ian’s long legs so the two of them shuffled around to find a position comfortable for the both of them.

Ian placed one had on the couch next to Mickey as he turned to push the table back at the same time that Mickey rotated his legs so he could sit comfortably against the back of the couch. The movement caused the hand Ian had on the couch to slip and Ian to shift his weight to prevent himself from falling forward. Which meant that Ian’s elbow landed right on top of Mickey’s exposed cock.

“Jesus, fuck!” Mickey yelled as he jumped at the sudden jolt of pain, hitting his head once again on the exposed section of the couch.

“Oh my god, are you ok?”

Mickey breathed in deeply through his nose, clearly trying to endure the worst of the pain. “I think we should move this to my bed” He said through clenched teeth and a pointed glare in Ian’s direction.

“Yeah” Ian said sheepishly as he followed a now limping Mickey to the back of the house. 

*

They fell together in a sweaty heap, both panting out the aftershocks of their orgasms.  Perhaps it was the sheer exhaustion or the overwhelming relief at finally being allowed the privacy they both craved that had Mickey allowing Ian to rub his hand along his side as he smiled into the crook of his neck.

 “That was really good”

Mickey laughed at Ian’s subdued and blissed out admission. It was true, but sex was always good between them. Even when Mickey was getting elbows to the crotch and he had a fairly large bruise on the back of his head, Ian knew the sensitive spots of Mickey’s thigh and how sucking just inside them could make Mickey a quivering mess beneath him. Mickey knew Ian liked things slow, soft even. He could have Ian moaning, breathless, as he lightly kissed down his abdomen. Even when everything else in their lives was shit, their bodies were always in sync.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Hm?” Mickey asked, pulled out of his thoughts. “Nothing”

“Bullshit.” Ian mumbled but didn’t push further. He figured Mickey had brought down enough walls for the night, and Ian didn’t want to risk them going back up.

*

“Do you ever wish things were different”

“what do you mean?”

“I mean, do you ever wish you didn’t have to deal with certain shit?”

When Mickey didn’t answer, Ian turned to place a kiss to Mickey’s cheek. “I’m sorry you have to deal with your dad” Ian said quietly “that’s gotta be tough”

“It just is what it is. Nothing you need to worry about”

Ian shifted so that he could lace his arm around Mickey’s waist. He snuggled close and laid his head on Mickey’s shoulder, his legs intertwined with Mickey’s. Ian hoped that he got the same amount of comfort that he got holding Mickey in his arms. Mickey hoped Ian would never let go.

Yeah, Mickey wished things were different. He wished his mom was still alive. He wished Mandy and his brothers were safe. He wished his dad would take his anger out on someone else for once. Sometimes he allowed himself to wish that he and Ian wouldn’t have to be together in secret anymore, no longer bound by the limitations of the neighborhood and families they grew up in.

But wishing was dangerous. Wishing led to wanting and that led to mistakes. Except, Mickey knew he was in too deep already. Ian was attached to Mickey with so much strength that it would rip Mickey apart if he ever tried to remove himself. Mickey wanted to give himself completely to Ian. He wanted what they were able to have to be enough. But it never was. Secret glances and storeroom fucks would never be enough. But Mickey couldn’t say that to Ian. There was no way he’d be able to formulate those words without choking on them. And even if he could manage, Ian was asleep before he could have even tried.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, feedback is always appreciated :) 
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](anxiouslysarah.tumblr.com)


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